Me: “That was some storm last night, huh?”
Buddy: “I was scared.”
Me: “I hugged on you while Mom hugged on Mumford.”
Buddy: “That was nice, thank you. Still scared.”
Me: “I know. It was awful.”
Buddy: “I have to go potty.”
The Duchess: “Me too.”
Me: “I’ll take you, let’s go.”
Outside
Buddy: “I’m going here.”
Me: “It’s raining and cold. Can you guys hurry?”
The Duchess: “I’m going here.”
Buddy: “I have to poop now.”
Me: “Of course. Can you poop there?”
Buddy: “Nope, I have to poop way over there.”
Me: “It’s cold and I don’t have shoes on.”
Buddy: “Me neither. Going over there now.”
The Duchess: “I’ll go over there with you.”
Me: “I’ll wait here if that’s okay.”
Buddy: “Suit yourself. Are you gonna pee?”
Me: “No.”
The Duchess: “He doesn’t have any shoes on.”
Buddy: “You don’t need shoes to pee.”
The Duchess: “He might because he’s…you know.”
Buddy: “Awkward?”
The Duchess: “That’s a good word.”
Buddy: “We’re almost there.”
The Duchess: “I’m gonna poop here.”
Buddy: “See ya back at the house. I’m going over there.”
Me: “C’mon guys!”
Buddy: “We don’t hurry you when you poop!”
Me: “I’m cold!”
Buddy: “And who’s fault is that?”
The Duchess: “Hold it down guys, I’m trying to concentrate here.”
Buddy: “Here’s my spot. I’ll be there is a little bit.”
Time passes
The Duchess arrives back at the house.
I let her in.
Buddy arrives back at the house.
I let him in.
Buddy: “Hey, you’re not wearing shoes.”
Me: “Don’t start with me.”
Buddy: “You gonna pee now? I mean, you got cold and everything.”
Me: “Just…just…” walking away.
Buddy: “Can you hurry it up?”
Me: “Shut up.”
Buddy: “Can’t you pee here? Why do you have to go way over there?”
Me: “Go away.”
Mumford: “I have to pee.”
Me: “Of course you do. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Buddy: “Hey, she just peed on the piddle pad!”
Me: “Leave me alone.”
Mumford: “What’s wrong with him?”
Buddy: “He doesn’t have any shoes on.”
Mumford: “Oh, he didn’t try to…”
Buddy: “No.”
Mumford: “Because he’s…”
Buddy: “Awkward?”
Mumford: “That’s a good word.”
