Bed Time

Nimbus: “Come to bed, Dad.”
Me: “I’ll be there in a few, I’m working on the website.”
Nimbus: “You can work on that tomorrow. Come to bed.”
Monty: “I want out to see Mom.”
Me: “You can’t go out there. Lewis is out there and you know how he gets.”
Monty: “But I want to see Mom.”
Me: “You can see Mom in the morning.”
Nimbus: “And you can work on the site in the morning. Come to bed.”
Me: “If you guys keep talking I’ll never get done here and I’m tired.”
Nimbus: “Shut up, Monty, so Dad can come to bed.”
Monty: [whispers] “But I want out to see Mom.”
Nimbus: [whispers] “Lewis is an asshole and he’ll come after you.”
Monty: [whispers] “I can run faster scared than he can mad.”
Me: “I can still hear you guys.”
Nimbus: “It’s your fault that we’re still awake.”
Me: “If I come to bed do you promise to be quiet?”
Nimbus: “Yes.”
Monty: “If you let me out to see Mom.”
Me: “Ain’t happening, Monty.”
Monty: “Fine, I’ll be quiet but do you promise I can see Mom in the morning?”
Me: “I promise.”
Monty: [yelling] “I’LL SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, MOM!”
Lewis: “Stay in your room if you know what’s good for you.”
Monty: “Jeez, what an asshole.”
Nimbus: “Told ya.”
Me: “You guys gonna be quiet? I’d like to get some sleep.”
Nimbus: “I’m going to claw on you for a few minutes.”
Me: “Of course you are.”
Mom: “What’s all the racket in there?”
Monty: “Dad won’t let me come see you.”
Mom: “Do you want to come see Lewis too?”
Monty: “Not so much.”
Mom: “I’ll see you guys in the morning.”
Monty: “I love you Mom.”
Mom: “I love you too, Monty.”
Nimbus: “And me too.”
Mom: “I love you too, Nimbus.”
Me: “And me too.”
Mom: “Go to sleep.”
Me: “But…what about…”
Mom: “Go to sleep.”
Me: [whispers] “What an asshole.”
Monty: “Don’t call Mom an asshole.”
Me: “OW!”

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About the Author

He is a policeman, a soldier, a programmer, a farmer, a murderer, a priest and a politician. Rod is anything that he wants to be. He's a consultant by day but he's an author by night.

Rod is the author of The Morning Zoo, hosted exclusively by WarmFuzzy's. He has also written several novels and proceeds from book sales help support WarmFuzzy's Rescue & Sanctuary. Mosey over to Amazon and get some.

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