Nice Pants

It’s morning.
Our dog Buddy is sitting next to the bed.
Buddy: “Hey.”
No response.
Still no response.
A little whimper. “Hey.”
I mumbled a sleepy, “What.”
“I need to go outside.”
“It’s cold out there.”
“I’m not happy about that either.”
“Can you wait? I’m sleeping.”
“No you’re not. You’re awake.”
“I am now.”
“So, how about it? I really need to go.”
[groan] “Okay, I’ll get up.”
“I’ll meet you at the door.”
Off he goes down the hallway with his head down and tail off to one side.
Shirt, socks, shoes. Wait…pants first.”
[from the other room] “You coming?”
“I’m getting my pants on now.”
“That’s a good thing because it’s cold.”
“I know.”
“Wouldn’t want your…”
“That’s enough.”
“Remember the last time…”
“I said that’s enough!”
I took a quick inventory of myself and down the hall I went and rounded the corner to find the Budster doing the pee pee dance by the front door. I barely got the door open and he was off like a shot.
As the distance between us grew, I shouted, “Can’t you go closer to the house?”
“The grass is better on the other side of the dumpster.”
“It’s really cold out here.”
“You’ve got pants on.”
“I know but…”
“And shoes.”
“Yes, I have shoes.”
“I don’t.”
[silence] Me: “Sorry.”
He did his business and started back toward the house. As he passed by me he said, “Nice pants.”
Following behind him, I said, “Thank you.”
“I’ll bet they’re warm.”
“Would you like me to get you some pants?”
“That would be awkward.”
“Why? I think you’d look cute wearing them.”
“I have no thumbs.”
[silence] Buddy: “You’re a little slow on the uptake, aren’t ya?”
“I’m still half asleep.”
“Take those pants off and you won’t be.”
“Are you going to open the door or are you going to talk?”
“I’ll get the door.”
“…because it’s cold.”
“I said I’ll get the door.”
“…and one of us isn’t wearing pants.”

Sometimes I forget that it’s harder on him than it is on me when we go outside.

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About the Author

He is a policeman, a soldier, a programmer, a farmer, a murderer, a priest and a politician. Rod is anything that he wants to be. He's a consultant by day but he's an author by night.

Rod is the author of The Morning Zoo, hosted exclusively by WarmFuzzy's. He has also written several novels and proceeds from book sales help support WarmFuzzy's Rescue & Sanctuary. Mosey over to Amazon and get some.

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