The Morning After

Me: “That was some storm last night, huh?”
Buddy: “I was scared.”
Me: “I hugged on you while Mom hugged on Mumford.”
Buddy: “That was nice, thank you. Still scared.”
Me: “I know. It was awful.”
Buddy: “I have to go potty.”
The Duchess: “Me too.”
Me: “I’ll take you, let’s go.”
Buddy: “I’m going here.”
Me: “It’s raining and cold. Can you guys hurry?”
The Duchess: “I’m going here.”
Buddy: “I have to poop now.”
Me: “Of course. Can you poop there?”
Buddy: “Nope, I have to poop way over there.”
Me: “It’s cold and I don’t have shoes on.”
Buddy: “Me neither. Going over there now.”
The Duchess: “I’ll go over there with you.”
Me: “I’ll wait here if that’s okay.”
Buddy: “Suit yourself. Are you gonna pee?”
Me: “No.”
The Duchess: “He doesn’t have any shoes on.”
Buddy: “You don’t need shoes to pee.”
The Duchess: “He might because he’s…you know.”
Buddy: “Awkward?”
The Duchess: “That’s a good word.”
Buddy: “We’re almost there.”
The Duchess: “I’m gonna poop here.”
Buddy: “See ya back at the house. I’m going over there.”
Me: “C’mon guys!”
Buddy: “We don’t hurry you when you poop!”
Me: “I’m cold!”
Buddy: “And who’s fault is that?”
The Duchess: “Hold it down guys, I’m trying to concentrate here.”
Buddy: “Here’s my spot. I’ll be there is a little bit.”
Time passes
The Duchess arrives back at the house.
I let her in.
Buddy arrives back at the house.
I let him in.
Buddy: “Hey, you’re not wearing shoes.”
Me: “Don’t start with me.”
Buddy: “You gonna pee now? I mean, you got cold and everything.”
Me: “Just…just…” walking away.
Buddy: “Can you hurry it up?”
Me: “Shut up.”
Buddy: “Can’t you pee here? Why do you have to go way over there?”
Me: “Go away.”
Mumford: “I have to pee.”
Me: “Of course you do. I’ll be there in a minute.”
Buddy: “Hey, she just peed on the piddle pad!”
Me: “Leave me alone.”
Mumford: “What’s wrong with him?”
Buddy: “He doesn’t have any shoes on.”
Mumford: “Oh, he didn’t try to…”
Buddy: “No.”
Mumford: “Because he’s…”
Buddy: “Awkward?”
Mumford: “That’s a good word.”

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About the Author

He is a policeman, a soldier, a programmer, a farmer, a murderer, a priest and a politician. Rod is anything that he wants to be. He's a consultant by day but he's an author by night.

Rod is the author of The Morning Zoo, hosted exclusively by WarmFuzzy's. He has also written several novels and proceeds from book sales help support WarmFuzzy's Rescue & Sanctuary. Mosey over to Amazon and get some.

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