The Real Mumford

Barely light outside. I am sitting at my desk.
Mumford: “Ahem.”
I looked down to see Mumford sitting next to me.
Me: “What are you doing up this early?”
Mumford: “Duh!”
Me: “You have to…”
Mumford: “Go outside, yeah.”
Me: “Did you already…”
Mumford: “Nope, that’s why I’m here.”
Me: “The piddle pads…”
Mumford: “Are clean, yes.”
Me: “Wow! Let’s go outside.”
We did. She did. When she was done she turned and came back inside.
Me: “Good girl!”
Mumford: “I have my moments.”
I undid her leash and she slowly walked away.
Me: “Where you going?”
Mumford: “Fan.”
Me: “Ah.”
I looked around the room and every piddle pad was pristine. In disbelief, I looked again to make sure and yep, they were perfect, just like Mom left them before going to bed.
I walked back into the family room with a smile on my face.
The Budster: “What was that all about?”
Me: “Mumford wanted out. She didn’t piddle on the pads.”
The Budster: “No way.”
Me: “Yes way.”
The Budster: “Are you sure that was Mumford? I mean, maybe aliens took the real Mumford and left a different Mumford, someone who looks like Mumford but isn’t really Mumford.”
Me: “No, that’s our Mumford.”
The Budster: “You sure?”
Me: “Well, I thought…”
The Budster: “Ah, you thought. See? What if I’m not the real Budster? What if I’m someone who looks like the Budster…”
Me: “Stop that!”
The Budster: “What if you’re not the real you but someone who looks like you? What if we’re real and you’re not? Or what of you’re real and we’re not? Did you ever think about that?”
Me: “She peed, alright? She went outside and peed and didn’t pee on the piddle pads.”
The Budster: “See what I’m saying?”
[pause] Me: “Maybe.”
The Budster: “Where’s Mom?”
Me: “In bed sleeping.”
The Budster: “You sure about that?”
Me: “Stop that! Of course I’m sure.”
I walked back over to my desk and sat down as the Budster hums the theme to The Twilight Zone.
Me: “Now I forgot what I was doing.”
The Budster: “That’s b’cuz you’re not you.”
I’ve got a feeling it’s going to be an interesting day.

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About the Author

He is a policeman, a soldier, a programmer, a farmer, a murderer, a priest and a politician. Rod is anything that he wants to be. He's a consultant by day but he's an author by night.

Rod is the author of The Morning Zoo, hosted exclusively by WarmFuzzy's. He has also written several novels and proceeds from book sales help support WarmFuzzy's Rescue & Sanctuary. Mosey over to Amazon and get some.

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