There is a Swedish expression, Vargtimmen, which in its purest sense means wolf time or the hour of the wolf. It IS said to be between 3:00-5:00am when the activity of the body is lowest and the blood’s content of the hormone melatonin is highest. Blood pressure and body temperature drop to the lowest point of the day and metabolism goes down. It is believed that between these hours we are plagued by our worst nightmares and sleeplessness at this time brings severe anxiety. It is the time of night when the wolf comes to devour our soul.
I sometimes experience vargtimmen but it doesn’t always wait until 3:00am. I lay my head on the pillow with the full intent of falling asleep but sometimes the mind has different plans. Thoughts, sorrow, regrets, lost love.
I hadn’t even laid my head down tonight when…vargtimmen.
I loved Miss Annie so very much and she loved me. Let me correct that, she adored me with every pore of her being. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for me and nothing I wouldn’t do for her but I couldn’t keep her from dying no matter how hard I tried. Old age was something we could handle together but cancer moved in and would not listen to reason. She loved me to the end and thanked me when we said goodbye. I was thinking about her again tonight. Vargtimmen.
Annie has been gone for a couple of years now but I still feel the shock of sudden loss. My heart still aches. I still miss her. I still cry. Vargtimmen.
When does the pain stop?
I miss you, Annie.
Tonight, I am jealous of the angels.
Vargtimmen. You know what I talking about, don’t you?